The Telegraph posted a story yesterday about a Pelham man who had advertised a party on MySpace. Among those who paid to get in were 25 minors from Dracut, Lowell, Lawrence, Chelmsford, Tyngsboro, Tewksbury, Nashua and Hampton. But I’m not posting about this story because local kids were drinking, after all that’s nothing new. And although I have to wonder why a 40-year-old man let minors into his party, I’m also not writing about that.
It was the headline that prompted me to write: Pelham police bust ‘Myspace’ [sic] drinking party
Yes, the party was advertised on the host’s MySpace account, but this wasn’t a ‘MySpace’ party any more than a party advertised via e-mail is an ‘e-mail’ party. Instead, the headline s is simply an attempt to draw in readers by using a buzzword. And since it got me to read it, I guess it worked. But honestly, I’d be surprised if the majority of social activities, including illegal drinking, involving 14-20 year-olds weren’t organized using social media. Why? Because that’s how teens are talking to each other. And if you think that’s not the case, then you haven’t been paying attention.
Look, teens are teens. They do stupid things. I know I did when I was young and I’m sure you did too. And that’s what this story is about: teens who did something stupid. But because of the very minor roll MySpace played in it, this story could also be another reason for some parents to say, “that’s it, no MySpace in my house!”
I’m not saying we shouldn’t be concerned about how our children use social media, in fact quite the opposite. However, if you’re considering a household ban as a solution, I urge you to look at other options. Forbidding things outright isn’t going to solve the problem. I remember how well it worked when I was a teen and I don’t think technology has improved anything. Back in my day (insert old man voice), we organized parties by phone. Prohibiting phone use back then was a lot easier than it is today, but we still got around it. How are you going to control things that can be accessed from just about any computer?
Myspace..Facebook..Twitter..instant messaging, e-mail, blogs…your children have a number of new communication channels available to them. And yes, some of them could put them at risk in ways that we could never have imagined when we were their age. But we’re not their age anymore and it’s now up to us to help them understand the risks, and opportunities, involved with new media, particularly social media. These technologies aren’t inherently bad or good, so rather than freaking out over possible problems, let’s help our kids understand the world they live in and what we expect of them. Let’s give them the tools to make smart choices, even when we’re not around. Hopefully, we’ll be able to help them see why being among 25 minors drinking in a group of “approximately 100 people in the basement of a home” is probably something they should avoid.
To learn more about how kids are using social media, I suggest watching Frontline: Growing Up Online. Not only can you watch the full program online, but you’ll also find additional related information. Of course, you could also simply ask your kids what they’re doing online. No really, you might just learn something. And finally, remember that social media also offers you and your children new ways of communicating with each other.
Of course, I’m sure some of you might think I’m out of line for writing about this when my own daughter is only 2. Don’t worry, my time will come. After all, 12 years ago we could never have imagined the options for communicating that are available today. And who knows what the next 12 years will bring. The only thing I can be sure of is that when my daughter is 14, I’ll be looking back enviously on the days when all parents had to deal with were things like Twitter, Facebook, and MySpace.
So how are you dealing with your children’s online lives?
